i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
