I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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