everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
