im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
