YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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