i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
