I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
