No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize