Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
