If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
are you so shy because you have an std?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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