You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
