So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
The best revenge is premature balding
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
A+ Viking dick
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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