Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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