I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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