he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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