On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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