i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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