do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
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Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
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I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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