i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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