Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
