he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
