u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
