Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
he fucked my hip out of place.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
