Who did Billy Mays play for?
I am spending my child support on dildos
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
