I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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