mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
