Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
