she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
birth control should be required to get into college
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
