Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
