He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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