At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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