Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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