it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
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