I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize