How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
