playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
