i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
