I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
