Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
there is puke in my bra ... again
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
