One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Green mimosas i think yes
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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