tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
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