Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
