i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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