the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize