I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
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I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
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Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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