i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
