I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
