I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
We talked him into tasing himself.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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