if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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