I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
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But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
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You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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