Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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