This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
