I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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