ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
