i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I cut my penus on the lid.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
