There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
