i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
