Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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