I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
so explain again why im purple
no
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
two words: eviction party
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Randomize
