he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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