Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
